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I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.

“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”

I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away…

Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.

David Wong (via thatlitsite)

We live in a world where we so often quote figures of the number of the dead in Iraq and Afghanistan and Congo, until they become just that—figures. Each time I read these news articles, I find myself thinking, “What do they dream about in Congo?” “How do they fall in love in Afghanistan?” “How do they resolve family quarrels in Iraq?” “What do they like to eat?”

Of course we must know about the dead and the dying. And of course these figures and facts are essential. But they must, they should coexist with human stories. We should know how people die, but we should also know how they live.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Commonwealth Lecture 2012

On the tremendous importance of human stories and not just “facts.” Adichie is incredible.

(via owning-my-truth)

I did not realize so many look at those numbers and didn’t see three dimensional and varied lives.

(via seekingwillow)

This is very relevant, especially with everything happening in Gaza right now. As people removed from the conflict and especially for those of us, like me, that are not Palestinian ourselves, it is so important that we do not perpetuate the dehumanization and trivialization of every single Palestinian life as the death toll from the Israeli massacre grows. Even as we report the statistics, we must always reflect on the humanity and three dimensionality of these lives. We must mediate on the fullness of their being, which does include pain and suffering under Israel’s blockade, racial apartheid and brutal genocidal policies, but these are lives that also include love, joy, family, friends and more. We cannot reduce these people to statistics and 1D portraits of pain and suffering. We cannot strip them of their agency further by splaying graphic photographs of their bodies across the net and our front pages “to make a point.” We cannot perpetuate white supremacy ourselves by reducing Palestinians into a single amalgamated mass of suffering, dying black and brown bodies with no agency beyond their pain. All of this is fundamentally disempowering, dehumanizing and wrong.

I love the way that Adichie frames all of this up perfectly and succinctly with this quote, and it’s one that I’m so glad that I stumbled back across by chance as the brutal genocidal violence of the racist Zionist state of Israel pushes the Palestinian death toll ever higher. As they take even more lives.

And as we put out prayers and thoughts with the Palestinian people in this time of tremendous difficulty, it is so important that we also maintain perspective and interrogate ourselves to ensure that we are not partaking in the same forces of dehumanization ourselves as people trying to be “allies.”

(via owning-my-truth)
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